My Father was a Con Man

This is a copy of a letter my father wrote to my wife, Ellen and I shortly after we were married and  lived in Urbana IL where I was in college. My dad always called my wife Bill.

Dear Ted and Bill

I have some explaining to do, also some mail to send so Bill may through me in the jug when she hears about this. Before we start I want a few things understood. First a jury trial, second in C.C Mercer's court.

Well here goes. We got a letter from Auto Insurance Co. and I Didn't forward it as I should have. Our honorable  post master had placed it very carefully in our box with the stamp end out toward the front of the box or to make it more plain the stamp was toward the  South  or to make it plainer the stamp was to the right as walk  in the P.O. so that put the opposite end of the letter  or the end that had the return address on toward the inside of the P.O. This might confuse you. The inside of the P.O.  in this case is the part the post master and his sister work. The place where they distribute the mail. The place where the clock hangs on the wall. Now don't get confused with the barometer over the desk in the lobby. This might confuse you. A clock is an instrument which tells the time of day. A barometer is an instrument that tells the condition of the air pressure which in turn might indicate whether it is going to rain of be clear. I hope I got part so you can understand it.

Now there is another letter from the same said Auto Ins Co.  placed in our box this time with the stamp end turn the other way or the opposite way of the first said letter. Now if if you will read the forgoing chapter you might figure out without me going to a lot of extra trouble to explain.

Now to get to the point, I wondered by not forwarding the first said letter I might have caused your insurance to lapse. So when the second letter came with the stamp end to the South, I thought I had better open it and rush some money up there. So I very carefully opened this letter and found out this letter with the stamp end to the North was quite a relief of one point but I might be facing  sentence.

So I will enclose the said letters, the one present as exhibit one that I failed to forward and the one marked exhibit 2, the one that might cause me to a life sentence. There is another letter I will enclose also.

Gale called yesterday eve and said they have a baby boy. Terry Lee Tingley. Rex's were down for dinner today. Will close for now. PS Mom is making pumpkin pie this eve to take to Women's Club tomorrow eve.

Your Dad

This letter was dated Sun. Nov 11, 1956.